So then no sooner did I write my last blog entry and there you are...showing up for an entire week, I see you every day. I am not okay with this, as it really hurts me. I am hurt because I know I am living a lie. I am hurt, not because you hurt me, but because i led myself to believe that maybe you felt something back in return. Oh, how I was wrong in every way possible. I can see now that you are happy, I see you laughing a lot. You are playing with all the kids and it cracks me up to see you so playful. Unfortunately this makes me love you even more. It also makes reality very much that...reality!
I hate this!! I don't understand why I can feel this way about someone, I barely know. I know some things about you, but not enough to really pledge Love. It isn't enough to say why I love you. I do believe though in love at first sight. I remember just how it felt and it was instant. It was real.
The only problem is that I then believed somehow that you might feel something, anything, just a tinge towards me. I think now that I couldn't have been more wrong.
I wish I could tell you....
I could; but then what?
Nothing can be done about it.
Just a bunch more of heart-ache, embarrassment, and mixed emotions.
So if you read this, it's either because you stumbled upon it yourself, or I slipped you a piece of paper with the address on it while brave enough to do so, and you ventured to look it up.
If then, you do read this, I need to know. I need to know what it makes you think. What is your thought on what I have said. I can't help how I feel...just keep reading....don't stop reading....it's been years...years...