"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."
— Mark Twain

While there are days I could agree with Mr. Twain there...Sometimes, I would rather eat a frog...

I have been trying to find the words to express how I have been feeling lately, and I am truly at a loss..my heart feels lonely, like I am just wondering around on my own.
My love has found happiness, even if it be temporary, or maybe I just wish it to be.
I've been lost in some realm of depressing colors.
My favorite colors are black and white, sometimes grey.
I wonder what that says about me.
I should love colors like red, yellow, orange, even green, or blue...
But I love black.
I love grey dismal rainy days.
This may be the reflection of the color of my heart.
I wonder if it is the color of a broken, worn, unloved heart.
I try to fill it with non-prescibed medication.
Nothing works. Not even an affair or two.
Not even the smile of another friend's face cures the black hole seething inside me.
They are all blind. I started to show my opaque color and when they started to see it, I covered it quickly with new skin, tougher looking skin, skin with upward muscles that make me look like I am smiling.
I look perplexed, in pain, and blind when I face myself in the glass mirror each day.
I know that I am alive, and I will be fine. I just wish this life I have, wasn't mine.