Bruce Lee says:

When looking through a bamboo tube, you only see one spot on a leopard.

i.e. Don't look at just one thing about a person...look at the big picture. Get away from tunnel vision. See things for what they really are. When someone is hurting, or angry, or whatever...there is an underlying reason. We don't just become that way over night. We are the way we are for a reason. Something or someone in our life has influenced the attitude or mood that we have. I try to stay positive.
It kind of goes back to the Bible verse that basically states in a sum of words:"Do not worry about the speck in someone elses eye, when you yourself have a plank in your own eye". I was reminded of this today when I began mentally bashing a friend of mine. As I started to verbalize it to someone else out loud, I also stated aloud, "Wait a minute, I am sorry, nevermind...I have no room to talk." I caught myself this time...I was making a mental effort to put into practice what I believe. It made me wonder though how many times do I do it without thinking. I don't know that I do, but it made me wonder. I felt horrible. I try not to look through the bamboo tube. But it is the easiest thing to do. For some people it makes them feel better...for me it makes me feel worse. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a struggle, admitedly or not. As a friend it is better to listen and understand, than it is to try to solve the problem or talk about it with others.
I wish I could solve all the problems...but then I would be able to solve mine as well...that would be wonderful! I am putting the bamboo tube down, and every time I am tempted to pick it up...I will throw it farther and farther away from me. This way, I can see the whole leopard, and not just one spot.