Bruce Lee says:

When looking through a bamboo tube, you only see one spot on a leopard.

i.e. Don't look at just one thing about a person...look at the big picture. Get away from tunnel vision. See things for what they really are. When someone is hurting, or angry, or whatever...there is an underlying reason. We don't just become that way over night. We are the way we are for a reason. Something or someone in our life has influenced the attitude or mood that we have. I try to stay positive.
It kind of goes back to the Bible verse that basically states in a sum of words:"Do not worry about the speck in someone elses eye, when you yourself have a plank in your own eye". I was reminded of this today when I began mentally bashing a friend of mine. As I started to verbalize it to someone else out loud, I also stated aloud, "Wait a minute, I am sorry, nevermind...I have no room to talk." I caught myself this time...I was making a mental effort to put into practice what I believe. It made me wonder though how many times do I do it without thinking. I don't know that I do, but it made me wonder. I felt horrible. I try not to look through the bamboo tube. But it is the easiest thing to do. For some people it makes them feel better...for me it makes me feel worse. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a struggle, admitedly or not. As a friend it is better to listen and understand, than it is to try to solve the problem or talk about it with others.
I wish I could solve all the problems...but then I would be able to solve mine as well...that would be wonderful! I am putting the bamboo tube down, and every time I am tempted to pick it up...I will throw it farther and farther away from me. This way, I can see the whole leopard, and not just one spot.

Hard Day

Today was really a hard day for me. But it was a day of organizing and cleaning and rejuvinating my surroundings as well. I had a lot of thoughts today about my life. Where it is going, where it's been, what I have done with it...etc. While it was a good day...it was just a very hard day. Like I was pushing my way through it. I needed to work out, and punch a bag or kick my heart out or something...but I had no time. I really need to scream and yell and cry...
I really need to cry...I need to purge everything that is on my mind. I am almost to afraid to write it in this blog. I should. But I am afraid of what my readers may discover and think.
I am so tired, it is after midnight. Doug and the kids are sleeping. It is quiet, except for my music. I love my music. But I also love stillness and silence.
I want to spill this feeling out so bad.......
I am so afraid.....

Finding my Heartbeat

My heart beat...
I am trying to find my heart beat.
I am searching for my pulse.
I can feel my heart race.
I can feel it jump.
It is when someone talk about children or people in need.
It is when I see it first hand.
I love to sit and listen to people tell me their stories.
I love laugh with them and cry with them.
I love to hug them and make them feel better.
I love being a friend, whatever it takes.
Where is your heart beat?
Have you found it?
What makes your pulse run wild?
Love makes my heart beat faster.
Living for others makes my pulse deeper.
What makes your heart race?