Hero Needed

Written Summer 2008

She was heart, she was soul,
Her mind was full of thought-
Never had she been so alone-
Never had she felt so invisible-
She was bright red...
How could she not be seen?
How could she be forgotten-
Why was she so far away?
No one even noticed, she keeps it together,
She holds it all in.
She was bleeding peace, Inside screaming "war"!
She didn't want war, it was just there inside her.
It was a war in her soul-
Should she be herself, she may die.
No, she would surely die.
Her nerves were shot, even her eyes twitched.
She wants to tell him.......
He is right there-right outside-
And she can say nothing.
She is forbidden by right of law,
By papers signed, a vow
Not that she wishes to change that
Because it is in it's sense a wonderful thing,
Yet it contrains her to be someone she has forced for years.
It has become comfortable-it has been secure.
She wouldn't want to lose it for the world
It has been the one sure thing in her life.
How could she change it now.
But why, why is she so torn?
Is it her turn to cry?
Is her river to just run it's course, then dry up and die?
Is it to run dry with only one love?
Why not two or three- or why at all?
She cannot believe that this is it.
She sees something different.
Almost like she knows-
Almost like she can feel the uncertainty to come;
The unpresent nature that she dreads.
But like it's also there haunting her life, maybe her death.
No life can change that much that she coul not see it coming,
Breaking free.....
That would be bliss.
Still quiet her soul as it would appear outwardly
But inside, it is screaming for more...more!
There is such a hole that would not be filled-
And then to encounter death-
Surely then all would break-
No hero could put those pieces together, they would grow weary
He could try his best, but would nver have the whole her-
He eventually would be lost too.
He would have already given al he could,
And no peace would come of this-no joy.
He would not be happy.
So she is doomed, destined to tell him so,
So hat he may spare himself the weary trouble-
Why then must she let him suffer..
She nor he will ever be happy.
She must let her hero go.
His bright and shiny smile!
His eyes so light, yet weary-
She must let him go, before it even becomes of her...
She will love the hero she has now, she will love the one who loves her now
She will be happily forged not forced into his comfort
His arms wide open-his quiet strength known
His patience
His breadth, depth, heigth of love are marking.
So true -but maybe lost-
He must be the only one for her, now and forevermore.
He says he loves her even in her weakness, Even in the tomb that she is trapped in.
Nothing else compares to a quiet, simple, steadfast love like his, in sicknes
or in health.
So, he bing true to his word-
And she has been so blind to that until now.
She is such a fool
While she isn't herself He remains to keep his word-
He is open, honest, and true
And it takes the breath away...
Of the one who loves her most-
Although this gives her some peace-
She still feels that there are unresolved dilemmas
Soon must be addressed-
she is still that tool...
The object, not the love of his affection-
all she wants to know is how to become that,
That which he loves more than anything,
That which he can trust,
which he can embrace and intimately love...
He kisses not her lips.
He withdrawls, what is he so afraid of
that he can't just be one with her?
Is it that he was one with another and there is no going back?
No moving on...no other "one"?
Why, and how can that be??
That is just not fair!
What did I ever do to deserve such lack of love?
It shouldn't be this way.
Why should I settle for less, when I deserve so much more.
I used to deserve it, maybe not so much now?
I have let so many things go, so many!!
But I used to deserve it, I used to believe that too.
Love became corrupted...
But when?
It is no longer and maybe never was pure and complete.
I must stop dreaming a better dream and be happy with the one I have-
I have a great dream, but it could be changed just a little
New love would change everything and everyone...
but our same life would still exist, our same home, same family, same jobs...
But better, so much better...
I want and believe we can have so much better...
So, How does this happen?
Where does that start? With one simple choice.
But shouldn't every one make that same choice?
One cannot stand alone, but two can stand as one!
when does that begin? Can't that begin now, right here?
I am selfish...
For wanting anything more than I already have...