Sundays

Sundays aren't the same; they are beautiful, but not the same.
I missed looking out today and watching you smile. I missed seeing you watch the screen and listen to every word. I missed seeing you make notes with your left hand.

Wonder when I will stop missing you....

I dreamt the other night that we met in an airport. We talked forever. I told you that I had missed you, and you were so suprised. Then I woke. The next night I fell asleep, you were walking towards me in another dream. This time you told me that you had missed me too. You reached out your arms and drew me in close. I awoke.

I am so tired of dancing around dreams. I wish I could just tell you what I am feeling. I wish I could just know what you thought. I know that I had to have imagined everything....but then I wonder......

Will I ever stop missing you, love? Will it ever stop hurting so incredibly?

you look just like him

I am still surrounded by the image of you. I see you in your brothers eyes and smile, and hear you when he talks. I see you in your fathers laughter. It reminds me of you. I wish that I could see you. Just want to look into your eyes, so that I can keep it here in my mind sharper than it has been for a while. I miss you. I imagine your arms around me every night before I fall sleep. You are almost one of the first things I think of when I wake up in the morning. I don't know why that is. It just is. Today is beautiful.

I miss you today. The air is getting cold, and it's about that time of year when I start thinking about curling up in the corner of the couch with a blanket with a hot cup of tea and honey. Staring into nothing, thinking of your arms wrapped around me. I can see your eyes. But they are fading now. I haven't seen you for a while, and even though I can make out your image in my mind, it's not as sharp as it used to be. I listen to my music, and muse that someday soon, I will see you again.
I still love you just the same, but it has been easier for my heart not to ache. It has been a busy, but confusing summer. And while I seem to ahve shut down, fall always brings me back to life. I miss you today, and wish that you could know.